As I drove, the voice coming from the speakers captivated me. I pulled up into the driveway, shut off the engine, and sat silently, listening. Susan Duncan was sharing the story of her relationship with her mother. I needed to listen to every word of that story. I needed to let all of the words float from the speaker, sink into my ears, and marinate in my head.
Duncan’s story “Finding Esther” was powerful but one line struck me. “Children are far less forgiving of their parents than their parents are of children.”
All I could think, how true.
Have I blamed things in my life on my parents? Have I been angry over petty and stupid things and just not let it go?
Then I started looking at things through a new lens, as a parent. I began to wonder if Kia would be angry with me for my poor parenting when she was growing up. Looking back now I realize that I was selfish and mediocre at best when it came to being a mom. Saying I did the best I could is probably not an easy excuse to swallow for a kid.
Forgiveness is an interesting thing. We all seek it when we err, but we aren’t always willing or able to give it freely.